“I decided to come to HH for both my daughter and my safety. My husband has been controlling and abusive our entire 10 year relationship. It wasn’t until my child was born though that I began to realize his behavior was so ingrained he would never change and it was unsafe for us there. My breaking point was during a separation, we were still living in the home together, he lost control again. In the middle of the night he exploded in rage, throwing things, breaking things, and harming our pet kitten to the point he was covered in blood. I locked myself and my daughter in our bedroom but he broke past the lock the next morning and I knew we weren’t safe. I had heard of HH but never wanted to go and take resources from people who needed it more. I finally decided I was in need.
HH has been a tremendous help to both me and my daughter. I was fortunate enough to already be separated from him and have some things together already but for the things I didn’t have HH has been able to supply. More than anything HH has helped with giving us a safe, quiet place to live and recoup. We went from a home filled with constant tension, tiptoeing around in fear, and yelling that kept us tense and unable to even think to a place where we could catch our breath for a moment and get our life together again. It’s more difficult than I can describe, losing everything at once, but being able to have some semblance of peace has help us be able to find ourselves.
The resources and support we have been given at HH have been massive as well. Finding housing is difficult in our situation but I was given help finding ones we could go to. The emotional support has been tremendous. Having caring people who are on your side when you feel so isolated from the world was cathartic. My child has benefited immensely from having a calm safe place to live. The playground and play room have made it easy for her, she feels as if we are on vacation, which is perfect because her comfort is one less thing I have to worry about while pulling our lives together. At Easter she was given a Easter basket and I cannot describe the pure joy on her face when she realized the Easter bunny had visited her here. It made both of our hearts happy and full.
Today I am doing much better. I can think, I can rationalize again. I feel it’s difficult for others to understand just how impossible it is to even rationalize your own internal thought process when you are constantly being manipulated. You can’t even make simple decisions so massive life changing ones are near impossible. I am finding our own permanent housing, which is a beautiful feeling. I am able to actually benefit from therapy instead of using it for survival since I’m not in a constant state of fight or flight. I can see a future for us clearly now. I know it’s not perfect and it’s not where I had wanted to be in this stage of my life but its freeing and blissful to be able to plan a life for us now, absent of the abuse and wholly our own happiness. I had attempted to be in this position for a very long time but was unable to do so while still living with my abuser. HH has made that possible and I will forever be grateful at having such a tremendous resource to help us.”